If I look back, I am lost.

"If I look back, I am lost" ~Daenerys Targaryen, A Song of Fire and Ice.

Really, it absolutely tells my state of being right now.

Looking back, I remembered how well he made me feel being loved. We were so cool. Love's been undemanding. We were so supportive of each other. We were happy. I was the greatest match ever for him.

And then something suddenly happened. He said he would try to prove he can live without me. Of course, he can! But what's a relationship for if you'd have a mindset like that. I can live without him too, but why would I. I chose to be with him.

But for him, he CHOSE to go on without me. He did not stick through the end. He... :(

Love has been lost. Love faded and died. He fell out of it.

It is said that, "Love does not die easily. It is a living thing. It thrives in the face of all life's hazards, save one: neglect".

Have I been neglected? Or have I neglected him? Have I neglected US? If I look back, I am lost.

So starting today, I will not look back. I will move on, go forward, and put this in my mind... "When people walk out of your life, let them. You might miss them, but remember that you're not the one who gave up".

Because I have not given up. My reason for breaking up with him was just to give him space and time to realize my worth. He can't miss me and want me back if I'm still his.

But then again, some things just never go our way. Some things are not meant to be. It's over. He's gone.

If I look back, I am lost.

Comments

Cats and dogs

Cats and dogs outside, Lil ants and rats inside; I lay here hugging my pillow tight, As I think of you tonight. Can this rain course my thoughts to you, And make you think of me too. These cats and dogs will be over soon, And these thoughts of you will just be written in the moon.

"The Tomato Syndrome"

Below is my Basic Speech Project #1 piece. I opted to remove personal facts though. :) “Decide that you want it more than you’re afraid of it”, a line that has been my mantra these days. I believe most of us have some things that we fear of, right? Me, I’m afraid to talk or speak in front of an audience. Audience, guests, fellow toastmasters, ladies and gentlemen, good evening! Speaking in front of many people has always been a dreadful situation for me. This is because of some physical effect. I call it “the tomato syndrome”. This is a self-diagnosed condition wherein when I am tense, my body temperature will rise. If I touch my skin, I could feel the hot flashes as if I’m burning. I will have rashes all over my body, especially on my face. And I will look like an almost rotten tomato. I will have this some sort of allergic reaction when I get nervous. So I stay away from situations that would make me nervous. I excuse myself from spotlights, stage talks like this...

Ana Molly

"Ana Molly" - got the name from the title of a song by Incubus She had only been gone 30 minutes in the bright light. Yet, the rays of the excruciating sun already burned Ana Molly’s skin. She had to step out, had to be out, to show off her assumed beauty. There are a number of people, she saw. It’s a good crowd for a display, she thought. She cursed the sun; yet there she is, eyeing the handsome man in his blue board-shorts. Ana Molly must get his attention. The handsome man is paying no attention to her at all. She must do something. She must get near him. Her skin is a skin that has been medically enhanced. She spent half her monthly earnings to maintain the acquired white and flawless complexion. Ana Molly is in panic. “My gad, my skin”, she groaned. She can’t afford to damage her skin, much more her face. Then, Ana Molly found a lone hat in the corner, resting upon an old branch. It’s sophisticatedly brown, beautiful -- classy. The hat has a lot of purpos...

crayoned thoughts

Search This Blog